Love. We all need it, we all want it, and those who say they don’t probably need it the most. But few are finding love, real satisfying love. Are you one of them? Here are ten tips to help you.

Number One. Love will not solve your problems. If you have them now, you will have them after you fall in love. Too many people believe that if only they could fall in love, all that other stuff that plagues them will fall away and their life will change. If you struggle with a porn addiction, you will still be addicted after you find him or her. If you have an eating disorder, you will still struggle with your image after you find a guy or girl. If you are a drunk, or jobless, or unsure of where you are in your life, finding someone will not give you the answers or help you change. If you are lazy, messy, uninspired, fearful, or adulterous, these vices will still be yours. You are still the same person. You need to change first, for yourself, and be ready when love comes.

Number Two. Confidence rules the day. Women like confident men and the kind of men women should want, like confident women too. Confidence is an attitude. It’s how you walk and talk and act, and most importantly, how you think. If you don’t think you are good enough to be with, how will any other person? Start changing the way you think and it changes the way you act. People will notice.

Number Three. Goals drive you and they drive interest in you. Pick something, preferably something you are interested in and get passionate about it. Nothing is more attractive than someone who knows what they want and goes after it.

Number Four. Smile. People like to be happy. And happiness is infectious. Smiles are calming, they charming, they are sexy. Who likes to have their mood dashed? No one. Who likes to feel good, inspired, meaningful? Almost everyone. All it takes is a smile.

Number Five. Don’t delude yourself. One of the biggest problems people have is that they want something that they know is bad for them or know wont work out. Its why people are in jobs they don’t like, why they are in marriages that only bring them grief and heartache, why they choose cars or houses they can’t afford. Don’t think you can make a relationship work when you already see problems that will have to be overcome. It’s like trying to fit a square block in a round hole.

Number Six. Honesty. From the beginning. Lies are like quicksand. Nothing lasting can form. Don’t act. You will tire of it eventually. And don’t you want someone to like the real you? If you pretend to be something you are not, it will leave you feeling dissatisfied. Most relationships or marriages fail from people trying to be something they are not. The honeymoon stage passes and they begin to see the real person that they are in a relationship with. This is when people bolt.

Number Seven. Love is often about the right time and place. That means patience. Don’t force. It’s like hunting rabbits. The more noise you make, the harder you look, the more the rabbits hide. Get on with your life and make other things matter. That’s when you find love.

Number Eight. Everyone has faults. Love exists despite them. That’s why it’s beautiful. You will never find the perfect person. No one can be “it” in everything for you. If you always trust in man, you will be disappointed at some point. We forget, we make mistakes, we are selfish at times, we smell, and we snore. If you can love someone despite their faults, then they are perfect for you.

Number Nine. Love is a country song. Love does not exist on a perfect plain. There are ups and downs just like the songs on your local country radio station. Some call it the sweet and the sour. If you expect perfect bliss all the time then you are not ready for a relationship.

Number Ten. Love takes energy and imagination. If you don’t have the time or the energy to devote to a relationship, then don’t start it. Love is dynamic. It either grows or dies. If you want it to grow you must devote your time, your energy, and most of all your imagination.

Love sounds hard, doesn’t it? Well it is. That’s why not everyone finds it.

© Seth Crossman