I envy Kurt. He’s got something few men have. He’s got this eye for beauty. And then he’s got the ability to draw or paint what he sees, exactly what he sees.

I went for coffee with Kurt at a Starbucks. He brought his pencil and some paper. I brought a keyboard and my pda. We sat in a corner. Just two guys, our backs to the wall, inconspicuously watching. We wanted to prove a point.

There’s something sexy about a woman who thinks she’s beautiful. There’s something beautiful about a woman who doesn’t care.

Kurt watches Amelia from across the room.

She reads her book, sips her coffee, oblivious of his stare. He sees the sunlight through the little wisps of hair that dangle down. He particularly likes the curve of her hand as it holds her head, the book even. Something about this image strikes him.

Amelia’s not trying to be beautiful, she just is. Kurt knows that every woman is beautiful, if you just look at her in the right light and you have the desire to see the beauty.

She doesn’t have to be typically beautiful. She can be overweight, have a nose too long, hair that’s too thin and light, acne run rampant, a club foot. She can care about these things, but if she doesn’t let them bother her, it changes the light about her. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen a plain woman suddenly realize that she has beautiful qualities. Her eyes change first. Then her lips. Her walk, her posture. That’s when I see the beauty.

Every woman wants to be considered beautiful. Be she short or tall, red or brown haired, fair of skin or dark, this remains the same. Some are content that only those close to them feel so, others want everyone that sees them to think so. A woman will rarely admit it, but how she thinks she looks often determines how she feels. It should be the other way around. A woman rarely realizes she is most beautiful when she doesn’t care if she is, because she knows she is.

Men often tell women the opposite though. We have always pursued beauty. The women we pursue, tells the women we don’t that they’re not beautiful. What women don’t realize though, is that many of us have missed our mark. We tell women that they have to be the perfect dimensions, when the dimensions don’t matter. We pursue what everyone tells us is beautiful because it satisfies a need in our hearts. The truth is, too many men need to feel like men. What better way to feel like a man, to banish the insecurity, the fear that we don’t quite measure up, that we have failed, than to attach ourselves to a woman that everyone thinks is beautiful and sexy?

What men really need to do is get away and be by ourselves for a time, to realize that pursuing a woman because of how she makes us feel better about ourselves is somehow twisting what woman was created to be.

Beautiful. Unique. Created. All of them. I wish they would see it like I see it, like Kurt sees it.

© Seth Crossman