rose

Romance is in the air.

It’s always in the air around Valentine’s Day. For many of us, we walk with a lighter step as we think back over the years we have spent with our wife or husband and how far we have come and all the wonderful experiences we have had. We think forward to the night with a little bit of excitement. We have already planned something special. We hope the delivery man comes on time and that the best cook is on duty at the new hip restaurant down the street, where we have reservations for 7PM sharp. Then our minds flash forward to what her face is going to look like when she sees our gift and we can’t help but smile a little more.

If the evening goes well, and most Valentine’s Day evenings go well if we do a little planning, its not hard to fall in love all over again, or at least rekindle some of the passion.

As the months pass, though it can be hard to maintain that passion, that feeling of love. Why?

To be honest, it is because most of our “investing” is done on Valentine’s day. It is when we spend our money on the sole purpose of wooing our wife or pleasing our husband. It is the one day that we set aside to focus on really treating our wife to the best dinner we can find and the best chocolates we can buy. It is when we think of sweet things to say that make her feel valued and treasured. It is when we reflect on all the good qualities and good memories. It is when we go overboard and trail rose petals all over the bed and down the hallway.

The coming of Valentine’s Day is like stoking a fire. The embers are there, we just need to stir them up and get things cooking again. And if we put any effort out, we do stir up those embers.

I know, it makes sense. If we invest the same kind of energy and thought throughout the year, we can have Valentine’s Day every month. But how many of us do?

Andy Andrews, New York Times Best-selling author and speaker, realized this about his own relationship with his wife. As he and his wife came home one day, he watched her smother their dog with hugs and kisses. It perturbed him. Why was she treating that dog better than she was treating him? As he thought about it, he realized that when she came home from work and he was on the phone, he would often wave at her to be quiet or would move to another room. Sometimes he never even said hello. But their dog would jump up and wag its tail and lick her face and rub up against her leg. Their dog did that anytime she came into the room. Their dog loved her and showed her and she responded. He realized that maybe if he started treating his wife as nice as his dog did, then maybe she would treat him better.

It’s a simple concept, but one that many of us forget. Or perhaps we are so busy that we don’t take the time to invest in our husbands and wives. Barack Obama said, “What I realize as I get older is that Michelle is less concerned about me giving her flowers than she is that “me doing things that are hard for me — carving out time. That to her is proof, evidence that I’m thinking about her. She appreciates the flowers, but to her romance is that I’m actually paying attention to things that she cares about, and time is always an important factor.”

When we devote time to the people we love, they realize they are loved. The feel loved. With that in mind, I encourage you to have date night at least once a month. Make the time every week to really sit down with your mate and just listen to what is going on in their lives. Do something nice for them that you wouldn’t normally.

If you do, I am sure you will find out that Valentine’s Day can come almost any time of year.

© Seth Crossman